The readings for this Sunday can be found here. The reflection that follows focuses mostly on the gospel reading from Luke 13:31-35.
This week’s reading, at the fresh end of Lent, gives us an opportunity to recognise the power of our desires because here we have three different desires being expressed.
Herod, the fox, harbours murderous desires towards Jesus. He is fully capable of carrying them out, we know, because he already had John the Baptist put to death. And that story tells us that even though it was Herod’s desire that John was killed, in fact his desires were in conflict. He didn’t dare to have it done because the crowds regarded John as a prophet.
Herod was afraid of a popular backlash – he was afraid of losing power, and so he kept John in prison as a means of damage control. And even then, we are told that Herod liked listening to John…an indication of yet another desire tugging him in a different direction…
But in the end, Herod did allow John to be put to death. Despite all other desires, the deepest desire won out – the desperate desire that he not lose face or look weak in front of his guests. This is a desire that is driven by fear above all, and by a need to maintain power and control, to avoid appearing weak.
So here again, Herod wants to kill only this time it’s Jesus he’s trying to get rid of, and again he is motivated by his fear and his rather tenuous grasp on power.
Next we hear of Jesus’ desire – the desire to gather the children of Jerusalem and protect them. This is a beautiful image of how God loves us. Of how God loves you.
This mother hen who offers shelter, who shields and protects with her own body, who watches for danger and stands between her children and all that would harm them. The mother hen God, longing for a time when she stretches out her wings and all her children come to shelter there.
It’s an open invitation, an ongoing openness, an eternal offering…
But the children are not willing. Their desire is not for the sheltering wing…their desire is for something else. Why? What could be better? What could offer more?
Well, here’s the thing. I think we’re actually more like Herod than we like to think.
We’re actually more driven by our fears than we are by our loves…. You may not think so….I understand. It’s a hard thing to see in yourself, although it can be easy to spot in someone else – a bit like the speck in your neighbour’s eye kind of thing.
And I find it very reassuring that St Paul dobs himself in when he talks about his experience of these conflicting desires.
He says in romans 7:
15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate….. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.
I think it is unfortunate that in Paul’s argument, he frames this push pull of desires rather unhelpfully in terms of doing good and doing evil, which most of us would have a hard time identifying with. Most of us wouldn’t consider our actions evil – we leave that to the likes of Putin.
But we do know the push pull of conflicting desires that lead us to act in ways that take us away from the good. Here’s an example that might help ground this in your experience.
Let’s take the desire to forgive someone who has hurt you. You may be convinced that forgiving is the right thing to do. You may feel that you’d like to be able to forgive, but despite this, you find that you can’t. Perhaps you do want to forgive them, but you want revenge more – you want them to suffer as you have suffered first, and then you can forgive.
Or perhaps you want to forgive them, but you want them to admit that they did wrong first. You want to be vindicated and then you can forgive.
Or perhaps you want to forgive them, but who would you be without this wound, without this story of being hurt? Perhaps you rather enjoy other people offering you sympathy, perhaps you are not ready to give that up.
Or perhaps you want to forgive them, but you don’t want to admit or own up to your part in the hurt – you want to believe that it is 100% their fault and you added nothing to cause or increase the depth of the wound.
All of these instances mean that although the desire to forgive and the will to forgive are present, there is a (sometimes hidden) greater desire which overrides all.
So, now let’s consider the desire to come and take shelter under God’s wing….a good desire, would you agree? This is a desire that I have expressed I’m sure, and perhaps one that you have, too.
What would it be like to shelter under God’s wing?
Perhaps there would be a sense of safety….of comfort…of provision…of shielding and protection….nothing can get at you here.
Wait. That’s not actually true, is it? There’s not a single saint in Christian history who led a charmed and easy life. And if they didn’t, why should we? Sheltering under God’s wing clearly doesn’t mean God sweeps away or holds back anything that would cause you harm.
So, what does it mean to shelter under God’s wing, then? What does it mean that Jesus longs for us to be gathered together there, in that under the wing space? What kind of shelter is on offer here? And if it’s not the kind that stops harmful things from happening, what does it take for me to stay there and be hurt, to suffer and struggle in that space?
I think the desire to shelter under God’s wing means that I have to be able to choose to stay in the shelter even when what I want is to take control back and avoid pain and suffering and struggle. I have to want to stay in that space more than I want to manage my own way. It’s a choice that requires humility and surrender. It’s a choice that faithful people through the ages have struggled to make and to sustain.
And it is also a choice we get to practice each Lent – a chance to bring your desires into focus and notice what gets in the way of your longing for God? What gets in the way of your desire to shelter under her wings? What gets in the way of staying there?
Is it fear that drives you? And if so, what is it that scares you? What is it that you want to avoid?
This is a deep question, and to give you some space to hold it and to listen for your response to it, we are going to end our reflection today with a practice known as the prayer of the Name.
Settle into your seat so that your spine is lifted, and there is space for your belly to expand as you breathe. Tune into your breathing and draw your breath into your lower lungs, letting the belly rise as you inhale and soften as you let that breath go….observe the breath for a few rounds…
The next time you begin to inhale silently say: ‘God’
As you exhale, silently say ‘I trust you’.
Repeat this for 4-5 rounds, then as you exhale also bow your head in surrender, expressing with your whole body and engaging the mind in trusting surrender.
After a few more rounds of breath, in your mind’s eye, see Christ coming towards you with his arms open wide. He is coming to hold you and you can choose to say yes – yes to his care and comfort….you can choose to welcome the one who is welcoming you….take some time to enjoy being held; soak in the embrace of home, safety, being seen and known and loved.
In this place of safety, ask the question once more…what is it that gets in the way of surrendering to Love, taking shelter in the presence of God’s loving embrace?
What are you trying so hard to avoid?
As you listen for the inner wisdom to respond, hold whatever rises into your awareness gently, with compassion. Take a moment here – ask for what you need, receive what is offered.
AMEN
We are already at the second Sunday of lent, however, if you have not taken up a Lenten practice yet, you might like to try this one as a daily prayer, returning you to the desire to gather with all the saints under the sheltering wings of love.
